Instructions for the PERFECT Lie

1.      Insurance is a must
2.      Lying to your insurance provider is alright
3.      Your insurance provider lies to you as well
4.      Lying is not dharma
5.      Lying kicks you in the arse
6.      Lying is punishable in the karmic cycle
7.      Say a prayer
8.      Your prayer can be a lie
9.      Say it out loud
10.   Say it again to be sure
11.   Construct your perfect lie
12.   Lying may cause harm, in some cases death
13.   Weave your lie with caution
14.   Explore all loopholes
15.   Weave a lie within your lie
16.   Weave another lie within the lie of your lie
17.   Stay within the range of an emergency exit
18.   Speak your lie
19.   Say it again
20.   Don’t blink
21.   Don’t breathe
22.   Say it in a single breath
23.   Look them in the eye
24.   Don’t touch your ear(s)
25.   Don’t fiddle with your finger(s)
26.   Don’t fiddle with your finger(s)
27.   Keep your hands in your pocket
28.   Don’t make waving sign(s)
29.   Do it in an air-conditioned room
30.   Don’t stare into open space
31.   Once your lie is said, don’t run
32.   Be calm, stay awhile
33.   Now walk away
34.   Walk casually
35.   Don’t look back, you can breathe now

Instructions to UNMASKING A Secret

A.    secrets are dangerous
B.    secret keepers are very dangerous
C.    a secret keeper with multiple secrets is sexy
D.    a secret keeper with multiple secrets is very very dangerous and sexy
E.     approach secret keeper with caution
F.     personal secret protection gear is recommended
G.    approach with a straight face
H.    try not to blush
I.      don’t lie
J.      don’t start with a lie
K.     start by saying: hello
L.      be casual about it
M.    don’t joke
N.     jokes are bad
O.     jokes are really bad in this situation
P.      get to the point
Q.     secret keepers are volatile
R.      take them by surprise
S.      do not fidget
T.      keep eye contact
U.      persuade until secret is revealed
V.      stop if secret keeper behaves weird
W.    once secret is revealed, be cool
X.     nod, don’t over nod
Y.      stay awhile, do not leave abruptly
Z.      be cool, leave with a: your secret is safe with me… goodbye.

Elancharan Gunasekaran is a multidisciplinary artist and poet. He has a strange love for all things poetical and Sci-Fi. A winner of the Montblanc X Esquire Six-word Story prize 2017. His latest publications are Superatomicluminal (Hesterglock Press, UK), Gods of the Gonzo (Analog Submission Press, UK), The Cosmosnaut Manifesto (UndergroundBooks, New York), Sleeping with Wildflowers (Alien Buddha Press, Arizona/New York), Deviant Flames and Dark Revolver (Roman Books, India/UK). He arts and writes on Instagram and Twitter: @elancharang

Banner Image “Tangent #11” created by Robert Frede Kenter. Tweets at: @frede_kenter