the prick next door

makes sweet plum wine

and is good for you

same old shit

is a guest

but we regret to advise

are just like home except

fine without

the European Union



a great avocado shortage

walks over my hoping

when admiral Lord Nelson

died he said

and wish you every success

bad weather is coming

but the sisterhood flourishes!

in hell the devil

has several decent restaurants



are sorry to inform

like a tosser

that darkens our door

for a 1 bed flat

this news must be


gave a crystal but

bloody bastard

and raining


Cat Woodward is a feminist lyric poet. Her PhD is in robot and lyric voice (UEA). Her first collection is Sphinx (Salò, 2017), her second collection, Blood. Flower. Joy! is due from Knives, Forks and Spoons in 2019. In 2018 she won the Ivan Juritz Prize for creative experiment. Cat has been published in Black Box Manifold, Lighthouse, Datableed and others. She teaches Creative Writing. @cwoodwardpoetry.

Banner image by James Knight