Silent Long-Distance Mail-Order Auction Catalogue Item #20:
BEFORE PREDATION COMES NOTHINGNESS, FLOATING. A FLOTILLA OF DANCERS ON FLOTATION DEVICES. THIS BEING THE ANABOLIC STEROIDAL EDICT EDITION, THERE ARE ONLY 3 LEFT IN STOCK.
Silent Long-Distance Mail-Order Auction Catalogue Item #21: Skin (Derma Bulbous)
How to describe this one:
Like a Chocolate-filled Cocaine Virgin, A Vestal Valentine crème puff notably filled with seamless juxtapositions, an array between solidity and opaqueness, fragility and permanence, recognizability and forgiveness – Creases, crevices, sculptural (earthen pages, layered contoured corners folded over like a book- as if it were a sandwich.
Just Imagine the impact (of a figure, a dancing figurine –all dark green surface, industrial backdrop (backlit), a night-time found object: (lurid) and otherworldly, glassy with baubles, contrivances of acrylic polymers and unintentional impacts or (consequences) upon
the Imagination —
Imagine if you can, the impact, if you dare, on those who shall still view sequentially embalmed figures in the cut-out gouged remnants of open strip mines – ALL embedded in the hardcover book of your choice;
Each gilded page edged with templates of (romanticism) –
rock hard rock candy, aberrant flossing from candy store orchards, freezer popsicle-stick multitudinous colours available, from bubbling crimson and black licorice to twisted entrails of viscera, to pus aggregations with remnants of original owner hand-prints,
Imprints, yes. Each page — baby scalloped pulverized with scowls and amphibian subversions; enactments perforated in a scaffolding of tutus-in-furor by one of our expert furrier/taxidermists.
Or, if you prefer – imprimatur
So special and (spectral) for those who hate gifts, for those whom you wish to adore, admire, torture or (impress) with fleece from the Golden Chalice & scroll remnants of raw confessions whether the excommunicated from the Inquisition, hurled with a distaff, or those life-altering sustainable licks imparted by left–leaning-linearity folks on stumps, or mastiffs as seen in tableaux vivant sucking up post-apocalyptic hypnosis cues from pop cultural-ingesting pop-tarts & fart fossils, or, sans relics, the Church, the Church, baseless and abject) (with or without fleas)
In any event – All critters are available in an array of burning mute pure gaudy snow cone embellished three-dimensional lacquers —
The Tongue of the Sky; Yellow Apparition Guidebook Formula;
Gasoline Melliferous Chokehold.
Your experience at the Harbour of the Burning Saints, that barbarous green ducal poop on a sea-bed of inconspicuous bay-harboured geese as seen diving for fish, or send photos of burning lamp shade fixtures, or produce your own original mapping sequences of topographic war zones all obtuse and excellent for purging, you know, the ones that make you want to vomit ample ampules of bullets from amputation terrines
And All This Too Shall Be Yours for the Asking.
Silent Long-Distance Mail-Order Auction Catalogue Item #22:
Imagine Polaroid photos from outside Milwaukee, WI. of (gashouse pumps & methane balloons floating out into the sunset, or, portraits of the bloated roster of the Captains of Industry insisting upon burying someone up to their knees, as you reimagine your elbows, the hands you were born with the as new scapula for drowning the buried of the earth a 2nd time —)
All This Shall be yours! Sayeth The LORD — Cometh this Way If and When You Can Decals!
Growing from an economy-line-offering of previously owned meditation medallions, texts of mediating medieval prayer poems as sleek and revenant as padded elbows and the “fault lies with you” buttons as big as meatballs, painted with scenes like Johnny Appleseed seeding serial orchards with myths and national follicles, like stories from the sea-bed of Atlantis, and Remember Bells of Phobias — to do as they do and shall be forever at worry — as if arising from out of apheresis. Only you will be able to understand as clearly and well-deep as this through your own personal experience with accompanying pharmaceuticals as proviso.
We are offering – One Bottle per customer, for a limited time only!
Strait from the Hills of Galilee, Lake Bonneville Flats, Utah.
Imagine: as we are told that
Research findings of (Tool and De Tool II, 2019) suggest by means of indices of indicators that for visions like these one must remember: To take one dose every four hours but twelve per day maximum. Your experience might lead to hallucinations including eviscerated lamb loin and eyelet singed bushes, marching worn out like sheathes, the three-foot soldiers, flying saucer tin cans, and for sure, the luminous and subjective as amputation emphatics, all shorn-close in the flames with those hallelujah buttoned pamphlets;
And (We guarantee) –
Each, hand-made bottle lining is pure terracotta and hums with extravagant layers of goose ale to swallow them down. Our Old-timey old-school craftsmanship sustains every stitch of powdered strut woven as taut as some Saturday morning Kishke at the Sunken Firebombed Dead Sea Jewish Diner –Whether from the duodenum of fervent Styx-sailing cattle, or memories of a grandmother’s aphrodisiacal jam jar colonic version, all clanging plates and home-spun like a big family reunion dinner are your cuppa, whichever is your preferred version or variety of REALITY, outcomes all outlier are guaranteed.
Each individual pill comes stuffed in cotton baton parade short-shorts and boxed in its own apparition lineaments; a full bouquet with applique liner in a canister as cool as a live sheep mewling in linear linen, these Truly Superior Threads of Bitterness, are all Guaranteed to be Individual yet Uniform, Nonpareil and very Tasty, pure Pro-Tease-Inhibitor & Total Value for your Money!
Repeat After US:
As Nine is To Ten, as Two is to the Eight Ball.
To Eliminate Tension in a Heartache –Rather Today than Yesterday, Remember Time Passes Quickly and Rushing Streams Are to the Stars, As Evident &
Irrelevant in Manner as Four/Four to the Beat as Waltz Time is to the Fox Trot. Dance Freely, Step Lightly.
All Our Hearts Beat as One. And Other Darling Streamers of Cozy Doily Dialogues are included with each Mid-Western Fortune Cookie. Add Infinitum in Questran: To Water and Voila — A-Delirium In-Nin-Sum. Drink Down with your Favorite Beverage. Crystals dissolve easily in Beer and Spirits. For We Who Breathe, Stoop Who Conquer.
For Further Redress of Dish Towels in Rags, Add Infinity for Faster Overnight Shipping. Rates Above as Below Open for Inquiries.
Operators: Please TAG – WHO YOU HAVE NOW SERVED, AS HAVING BEEN
SERVED ON A PLATTER, We ARE SERVED as One and
Say: All This Shall Be Yours! Sayeth – Thou Who Art the LORD lay Nigh. The night is an ass-kiss away. Tight as the Big Sky from A Model #T.
Silent Long-Distance Mail-Order Auction Catalogue Item #24:
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
AS PERFECT AS A CUMULUS CLOUD OR A SEED BED OF SEDIMENT IN SENTIMENT
NOW AVAILABLE FOR ORDER: THUS SPAKE THE CAYMAN ISLANDS OR SAYINGS OF
SECTIONS 1, 3, 5 ALL SECTORED THROUGH DIVISIONS ALA GEORGIA GEOGRAPHICA
EACH OR ALL THE READERS ARE AVAILABLE IN RED WHITE AND BLUE
FOR BOTH THE FAINT OF HEART AND THE BOLD, WHO GO WHERE NONE HAVE GONE BEFORE ETC.
A (SELF-EXPLANATORY BIZNESS, PINCE-NEZ, ET. AL, IS PROVIDED NO EXTRA COST).
ALONG W/ THIS RECEIVE, A LA CARTE
SAYINGS OF THE DEAD UNCLE GENTLEMEN, ALL ENCLOSED GRATIS-GRATIN WITH SINGLE SPOON SCOOP
CONTAINER OF GRATED-PARMESAN
(AS EVERYONE, WE KNOW, LIKES CHEESE).
SAY GEE WHIZ!
Attention all Wholesalers:
All forms of payment $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$— ARE acceptable. See Reference Code L32: BB Los Angeles from Wazoo Junction via Huntington Estates Blvd, as Indicated in The Empire Cross with Toffee Hearts of Gooey Medallions, a subsidiary of Idaho, Hunters Inc. Incorporated, Ad Infinitum, Nostrum De Ltd. and Holding Co, due S.W. of Rio Grande, Ohio.
Robert Frederic Kenter is a poet & visual artist. His poems and art have been published and exhibited in North America, U.K., Australia. Published previously in BHP, his work also appears in cough, dandelion, grain, dinosaur review, ARC, paragraph, & numerous other journals. His chapbook is Office Crime. Currently based in Toronto. Twitter: @frede_kenter
About the banner image: The amount of work involved in designing and building a complete 10-meter receiver with a good noise emitter, adequate stability, sensitivity, bandspread, and so on, was a little frightening.