after the FLUXUS Performance Workbook

1. All performers conduct a different hygiene routine: floss, clip toenails, wash hands, put on deodorant, shave, pluck eyebrows, etc. They may trade routines in a fugue-like pattern if they wish. Their tempo should correspond to the movements of a symphony.

2. Write several different postcards. Let an audience member pick one out of a hat. Without looking at it, fold up the selected postcard and place it in a #10 self-seal white business envelope. Then mail it to yourself without postage but with a correct return address.

3. The performance takes place inside a small stage in the shape of a human eyeball, placed within a public space such as a mall food court. Onlookers of the spectacle must peer into a peephole; eventually, onlookers are invited inside the eyeball as, one by one, the performers go outside and dance by the largest window.

4. Two people stand opposite each other: one rips the pages out of a dictionary while the other rips the pages out of the Bible. The sounds and rhythms ebb and flow as the pages scatter across the floor. Finally, collect the pages and bind them together haphazardly with whatever dust and rubbish can be swept up using duct tape and paper clips.

5. A match is lit at the same time a piece of ice is taken from a freezer. The performers must try to make the last of the ice melt at precisely the moment when the match goes out.

6. One group of performers besmear themselves with viscous liquids, including shaving cream, toothpaste, and Vaseline. Another group of performers eat a very proper five-course meal.

7. Dress in a clean suit. Go out and sit on the sidewalk near a busy intersection. Place a large bowl filled with water next to you and hold a sign that says “Wishing Well” beside it.

8. One performer does yoga poses while filling up a balloon with her breath. The next performer does the same with another balloon while the first person twists the by-now-full balloon into shapes and poses. Repeat until the balloons pop or the performers collapse.

9. Find a surveillance camera. Two or three performers dressed in skimpy bathing suits, animal masks, and roller-skates look into the camera. They sing karaoke and practice variations shaking hands, giving fist bumps, high-fives, hugs, and other greetings.

10. Do whatever you would do if everyone else were naked.

Will Cordeiro has recent work appearing or forthcoming in Cimarron Review, The Cincinnati Review, DIAGRAM, Orca, Slipstream, Salamander, Storyscape, Typehouse, Yemassee, and elsewhere. Will co-edits the small press Eggtooth Editions and lives in Guadalajara, Mexico.

Image banner: Patrick Theander via Flickr Creative Commons