OTHER THAN DESIRE
I stare at the cookies, brownies, cakes. I don’t even like
cake but any bakery tempts me with their confections.
I don’t eat them, can’t let my body be filled with
anything other than desire. I eye-fuck the cupcakes,
press a hand to my yawning belly, search for hipbones,
hold onto them like handlebars. I’ll pedal this slender
bike straight into a sugar factory, make snow angels
in the crystals, snort powdered sugar, rub it into my
gums. It leaves me shaky and tingly till I purge it, my
eyes watery, cheeks flushed, throat burning from
the acid brought up. I check my reflection in the mirror,
suck in my stomach, wonder if I’ll ever let anything stay.
Courtney LeBlanc is the author of Beautiful & Full of Monsters (forthcoming from Vegetarian Alcoholic Press), chapbooks All in the Family (Bottlecap Press) and The Violence Within (Flutter Press), and a Pushcart Prize nominee. She has her MBA from University of Baltimore and her MFA from Queens University of Charlotte. She loves nail polish, wine, and tattoos. Read her publications on her blog: www.wordperv.com. Follow her on twitter: @wordperv, and IG: @wordperv79.
Banner Image by Robert Frede Kenter. Tweets at @frede_kenter.