a… scare
that tricks the mind (half-waking). …
(fragments.—of-from a dream-dreams? … ).
the bells.
…
(… —in(side) a-the bell tower (?). high (in the roof). space.—dark. wood beams.—old-historic. (dust—?). … ).
bells.
the two.
—the larger.—the smaller. …
(one fits. … —in(side ‘v)to the other… (—?) … ).
—in my hand(s).
…
grey metal. (tarnish. age. dull).
—lead.
…
—a ward (hospital). (bright, clean, white, new-modern, and glass. … ).
(bright (light.—day) ‘v outside(with) (trees—green. lush-rich-bright), through (huge) windows (out). …
—light, open space, large (floor). …
—booths (large-space. low partitioneds). hospital beds.
…
—in the corner (booth—bed),… —by the windows (panes.—floor-t’ ceiling. large. … —green ‘v outside.—dark and light (bright) (mottle) (leaves and foli- … ).
—young man.
(—see.—in (-over) the distant (over.—partitions-booths, and floor. … ).
—bald (hair. lost.—fr’m treatment). large (thick-set). (sharp—face (feat) (nose).—large, wet-soft, eyes (blue)). …
—their son (?). …
—in for treatment (serious). (hospital gown. (white – light blue (dots-polka?)… ).
…
—a ward.
(small. … —closed-off room (inter—no windows). … ).
…
low, electric, light(s).
(terracot on-‘v walls (pastel-light, (matt) paint, and white. … ). carpet (coarse-rough, grey-brown, utilit. … ).
…
beds arranged. (in rows.—narrow-spaced).
…
bed. in the corner. (left.—far). … —next t’ the bathroom.
(… —wash (cold) my face, and hands,—in the sink-basin (metal), (mirror). (small,—cramped)… ).
—‘pposite the desk (ad-min) (—next t’ the office). …
…
sit. on the bed. (my bed).
…
—nurse-a doctor.
…
—tells me (says)—it’s bad news.
…
—stomach cancer.
(… yes.—knew. …
—discomfort-upset (bloat… burn(-sharp-tight), gas) (feel) in th’… —acidic. unrest (indigest-dyspep). … ).
—take it calm-stoic.
…
—treatment.
(won’t be pleasant-easy,… —you know that. … ).
(might not work-effective).
…
[—on-in waking (half-) (state). …
—dark.—‘v early morning (still).
(slugg-dehydrat. (dull). (… —a… swimming-heavy fog-fug. … ).
(dark grey—down behind-inside (within) the eyes. … ].
(…)
… …
… —it’s true. … (—?). …
(… —pang (—a thrill-swell-a start)—‘v fear. (… —cool, tingling rush (—a wave-surges.—from ache (tight) in the centre-back,—down the neck—spine (back),—tense-electric-adrenal. (shudder). … —no. …
(reject-refuse—push).—ache-pang. ‘v… grieve (—?), tear (sharp). (self-pit). … ).
no.
(—just a dream. … (—?). … ).
—it’s true. … (—?).
…
Mark Bolsover is a freelance writer, living and working in Edinburgh. He has short experimental prose-poetry published, and forthcoming, in a number of international literary magazines. His piece, ‘eye contact (or,… —an only optical love),’ was a winner of the inaugural Into the Void Poetry Competition (2016). His debut Chapbook, IN FAILURE & IN RUINS—dreams & fragments, is published with Into the Void Press (Dublin & Toronto, May 2017). Twitter: @mdbolsover
Image: bell tower stairs by NJ (Creative Commons)
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