They’re circling overhead
with bayonets of the past
sensing the fear the blood
They’re circling around me
wishing me to fail
because then
then I shall fall into their arms again
Saviours they look to be
Of me
I fall into razor arms ready to cut me till I bleed
Ready to drain me till I die
Because death seems the better place to be

They’re circling around me
sharpening their teeth
on memories of the past
poking and provoking me
why this dance
why this laughter
why me

They sense my fragility
they smell the blood
and come in for the kill
I fight back
get out my old ancient claws
sharpen those talons
I said I would never use again
but the nails are old
and they snap to the touch
hoping that the leeching will purge me of the shadows that
contaminate my soul
hoping that the leaching will cleanse me of the demons that dance in
my cells
hoping that the leaching will bring me home
and close the gateways to hell

They’re dancing on my grave
thats yet to be dug
they’re dancing on my soul
thats yet to even fly
they take my dreams and annihilate them
desecrate them
till they lie
in the mud
and dirt
once again those wings are clipped and I cannot fly
I do this to myself
fall for the sweet musk of the devil time and again
let him clasp me by the throat take me across landscapes I have not
wanted to know
and do with me as he will
least its love I say
least its touch

The angels fly overhead
watching weeping loving
I cannot see them
my eyes are shuttered out to the light even that which is inside me is
my ears are closed I cannot hear them
just stories of the past some made up some not
play out and out in the mind
have I made them up to justify a pain that gnaws away and has no
real name
the pain of a generation that left a long time ago
do we make the world as it is or does it unmake us
do we create our own reality or do unseen forces mould and bend our
dreams from fantasy to nightmare
who is really holding the strings here
I thought it was me
I looked up looked above
and realised it was all a joke being played upon me
I will not die upon the altar of fear
I will not lose my dreams in seas of forgetfulness
we did have union
we did come from love
and my natural home is in his arms
when he calls me home I will come
I will not wait eternity for his love
I will not wait eternity for his strength to guide me back
I must take the reigns I must steer this ship
I must own my heart before it is diced again and fed to the vultures
up above


poetry pic


Amber has been writing poetry, plays and short stories for over 20 years. She wrote her first poem at the age of 5 and has continued ever since. Her writing combines the deeply personal, with the esoteric.

Alongside her writing, she is a classically trained actress, a law graduate and a reiki master. Life’s experiences shape her work and her words.

Amber’s work has been published by Arrival Press, Forward Press and Pyramid Press.  In 2010 she was a semi finalist in the Brits Writers Awards. In 2011 her work was published in 2 “Poetry Rivals” anthologies.  In 2017 her work was featured in Nymphs and ThugsSoapZine and Salome Magazine.

Her first collection In The Arms of Lyra was published in 2010 and is available on iTunes.

Her second collection The Beloved- Journey to Union is available on Amazon and was first published in 2014 with a second edition published in early 2015. This work is devoted to Sacred Union and Love. It has received stellar endorsements and reviews.

Amber’s soundscapes and sound installations have been showcased in galleries across the UK and America during 2016 and 2017.

She has performed open mic sets at The Book Club, London and the Roundhouse (with Tongue Fu). Her poetry films “Playground” and “Sobriety” have been around the world in film festivals and art galleries, winning commendations and awards.