I was ripped off from a womb from a sword
the night was blazing
sunshine is sad and hurts
it is wondrous to live
it is wondrous to die
in flames the branches of the stars
in flames my heart
paradise is like that, it blazes and it hurts
Let’s run away
you’ll touch my window with a yellow leaf
and I’ll rise naked
if you know my crazy
wake me up
hasten, kill me
I don’t know who I am I don’t exist
yet I’m always amazed when I awaken
as if I’d visited some hidden place
I learnt to spell the colors late
and it was whole the light
I wanted not to learn to read and write
I wanted nothing
I was dragged
grabbed by my hair
beaten by teachers
institutions states
now nato’s missiles
now my eyes drop
I roam the world like a blast
because my loves are like the wind
because this is a gorgeous forest
where killings happen too
missiles are pointing at my heart
we live through catastrophes
I feel a cosmic angst
our bones are in the air
I embrace this planet I collapse
we chase mammoths we chase the moon
we are never still
each one of us
in light and death
we are contemporaneous
the gods and statues know it well
the absurd atrocity of living only in one body
Oh, good, Sunday has come
we’ll resurrect again
I won’t go back to school this time, I will not study law
like in 1960
it was it will be different
in the time of justice
I think of darkened seas
of flower beasts
will they perhaps be spared from evil
beloved animals budding caterpillars
the flies gnawing our guts
the constellated flesh of cows is blue and born again
the spiders shall not forgive us
nor the monkeys we devour alive
I had in my womb the fasting man
I was ashamed to eat
because we eat
and we poison the sea and the ants
Christ come
just finish off my bared bones
Buddha come
guts of the murdered children
of the child I once was
violated murdered
in a staircase
then I saw lovely things and I cried out
I was dying and it was lovely
my father was afraid
the stars were falling and I was falling
holocaust
the swords hastened the fear
at whom are these missiles pointing straight
this threat to life
at whom this fury
at whom if not at me
*
Selva Casal is a Uruguayan poet. She was born in 1927. Casal has published numerous poetry collections, including Arpa (1958); Días sobre la tierra (1960); Poemas de las cuatro de la tarde (1962); Poemas 65 (1965); Han asesinado al viento (1974); No vivimos en vano (1976); Nadie Ninguna Soy (1983); El infierno es una casa azul (1999); Los misiles apuntan a mi corazón (1988); El infierno es una casa azul (1993); Vivir es peligroso (2001); El grito (2005); Ningún día es Jueves (2007). In 2010 she received the Morosoli Award for Poetry from the Lolita Rubial Foundation.
Verónica Pamoukaghlián is a nonfiction editor at Sutton Hart Press, a novel translator for Amazon Publishing, and an Ibermedia Scholarship recipient. Her work in various genres has appeared in The Acentos Review, Prism, Naked Punch, The Galway Review, The Southern Pacific Review, Sentinel Literary Quarterly, and elsewhere. She has been a guest lecturer at the University of Louisville and a Creative Writing professor at Uruguay’s UTU University. Verónica also produces films at her company NÉKTAR FILMS. In 2019 she was selected for a writing residency at Centre Pompadour in Northern France.
Photograph from performance by Leif Holmstrand.
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