(A recipe inspired by Selah Saterstrom)

Reheat the oven to 250, and dump Devil’s Food powder into a silver bowl. Steal some lipstick from Walgreens, wine red, scarlet red. Don’t forget to purchase a pack of Parliaments. Apply the lipstick and smoke a cigarette while you mix the cake. Add a heavy thumb of rum to the mix, the rum that you bought that night after. Gather yolks. Seven goldhalf globes, unborn. Drop them one by one into the bowl. Don’t cry. When you’ve finished your first cigarette prick your thumb with the tip of the kitchen knife. Taste the blood and make sure it’s just right for the cake. Stick your finger in the cake and taste the runny batter. Pour it into the square dish. Put on a sexy (short and tight and checkered) apron and pop the cake in like the lady on the back of the box. Mix the frosting in that bowl your father got you for Christmas that you never use. Because. Add snow, butter, and sap. Stick your nose in and look really close. Hold your breath for as long as you can until your ears start ringing. Smoke another cigarette and ash it in. Cut up the cake like your body. Smear frosting everywhere. Don’t eat the cake but tell someone you did.

Julia Talen is a writer and teacher based in Denver, CO. She lives in a book fort.

Image Banner: Anatoly Zenkov via Flickr Creative Commons