Church picnic. Church alimony. Church groan. Church without church. Church miserable ecstasy. Church organ. Church vessel. Church pump. Church vitals. Church quiet. Church crutch. Church without church. Church snowplow. Church service. Church porch. Church feel. Church under-ground. Church churn. Church bustle. Church tweet. Church I haven’t seen you in a long time. Church branches. Church complaint. Church quarrel. Church sleep. Church restless. Church bad attitude. Church dreams. Church without church. Church drag. Church all over. Church dance. Church opening. Church without church. Church evening. Church morning. Church mourning. Church moraine. Church landing. Church sand. Church sun. Church without church. Ocean.
Noise not the way it used to be. Noise doesn’t taint but is a surface, spiral jetties ocean wave and ocean wave, so noise is always this collaborative thing, if it can’t be nothing else, because it blends so well you can’t or shouldn’t see its stitches. Was this always noise’s way? Did noise ever go
about a singular appearance, discrete illusion, invisible music? Noise knows its noise, follows its nose, right down there to the end of the grid, with teeth gritted. Noise doesn’t call itself noise: the name it goes by is unknown and even then we don’t know where it comes from or where it’s going. To be inside the noise and linger there like its own differential dance of equations. I’m coming home to the noise I know, which is organized, but only I know the system. If the system breaks down, it’s a new noise, like that refused song I refuse, can I scream, which, when screamed, seems an intense teenage screen, but when spoken, feels like a gentle request, may I scream, may I noise, may I notate? Noise can’t keep itself busy with one thing. God only noise. I put myself in this noise because I wanted it so bad.
John Rufo’s writing appears or will appear with The Offing, The Felt, The Journal Petra, Anomaly, NOO Journal, Tagvverk, and The Poetry Project Newsletter, where they work as the Reviews Editor. More information available at https://johnspringrufo.tumblr.com/ . John tweets @surrealdads
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