Denial in Cycles

girl born altered doomed a beast

the moon dies and

i’m not bleeding like i’m supposed to

voice deepening i speak in stranger

each word pitched down backwards

casting hexes upon my head

hair growing in full frontal display of my

curse every time i lift my shirt

no amount of eyeliner makes

the blood come out where it should

crotch scabbed over

crimson sludge oozing

from all the wrong sewers

another moon dies like always

i just wanted to wear a dress

and have to awkwardly ask

my dad for tampons

simple want a simple fantasy

dragged further from the me

reality rejected from beat zero

as i claw the grass &

sink teeth into muscle

howling at the moon’s dead body

menstruating in a rose bush

makeshift vagina cut

inside the thigh

spread like a sideways smile

not the right kind of bleed

false ichor sinking between

skin and dirt drink it like poison

guzzle at the wound

the moon dies over and over and over

lunar corpses begin to pile up in the corner and

all i do now is bleed heavy everyday

it won’t stop the blood won’t stop

i’m never going to be a mother, am i?

Mika Hrejsa is a trans girl and poet from rural Indiana. She mainly writes about transness, identity, sexuality, and trauma. She tweets @tokyo_vamp. Her work, including a free download of her debut zine GOREBLIND, can be found at: http://neutralspaces.co/mikahrejsa/